Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Our Helen Keller Unit Study

We had so much fun learning about Helen Keller.
I cut poster board 12x24 so there was 3-12"
panels to put the finished activities for the lessons.
Above is the Cover. It displays the covers of the books read,
the movie we watched, pics of the cooking lesson.
and a copy of a rare pic of Helen and Anne.


On the inside panel on the left we diagrammed the parts of the
eye and on the inside wrote about 3 common eye disorders.
Below that is the Persuasive Argument Writing.
On the upper right we did the Sensory Deprivation Exercise.
Below that is an eps that holds the information from our field trip
to the American Printing House For The Blind.


The above picture shows the inside of the pieces.


This is the right side panel.
On the top part we did mini bio's on 6 historical people--
Helen Keller, Anne Sullivan, Louis Braille,
Benjamin Harrison, Franklin D. Roosevelt, and Harry S Truman.
Below on left is our lesson on Territory and Invaded.
I LOVED this lesson. It worked out better than I
could have hoped in explaining how wars can start.
On the right side she wrote 3 Things I Learned About Pearl Harbor.


This above picture shows the inside of the pieces.

Across the entire bottom of both panels is a timeline of
Helen Keller's life showing major events/inventions/people.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Our Top Ten Reasons We
Just Had to Smile in 2008

#10 We began our 7th year of homeschooling

#9 We vacationed at Myrtle Beach, SC and got to pet a baby shark fished out of the ocean.

#8 We have a new addition to our cat family--Bruce joins Joey, Samantha and Lizzie.

#7 Amy, Stefany and Mom get caught up in the Twilight frenzy--Go Team Jacob!

#6 Wendy got to meet her favorite author

#5 Amy enrolls in community college and learns to drive

#4 Stefany turns Sweet 16

#3 Megan's soccer team wins Championship

#2 Darren & Wendy celebrate 20th Anniversary

And the #1 reason we just had to smile in 2008 . . . . .

God sent his one and only Son
into the world that we might
live through him.

--1 John 4:9

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

State Brochure Idea

For our unit study Skylark I had dd10 do this neat brochure
for the state of Maine.
On the front panel she drew a picture of the lansdcape
about 1-1/2" from the top. Then cut the top off
following along the curves of the drawing.
She traced the outline of the state and thought of a slogan.



On the second panel (on left) she re-drew the landscape
and wrote a paragraph describing the landscape.

On the fifth panel (shown on the right) she pasted a
picture of a famous person from Maine. (You can draw this also.)
She chose E. B. White.
You place the person in the top right corner of that panel.
Then you carefully cut around the figure.
She then wrote a brief biography about him.



On the center panel she drew a skyline of Portland, Maine.
This is drawn at the top edge of the paper extending
down to line-up with the top of the landscape.
You then carefully cut around all the objects
to make it stand out.
She then wrote a brief paragraph about the city
to entice people to visit.

The panel on the right is labeled Interesting Facts.
Here she wrote a few things she found interesting about Maine.


This was such a fun project that I think
we will be doing it again!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Praising God for Tragedy Averted (2-3-08)

Last night my youngest had an experience no one wants to have.
I was sitting near my computer desk, which is a corner desk,
and next to it is a printer table where I had lit a
fragrance candle earlier in the evening.
She came up to me between the chair and printer table.
Suddenly she says "Ooh hot."
We both look behind her at the candle and
I tell her to be careful and move away from it.
The next thing I know she
darts across the livingroom screaming, "HOT! HOT! HOT!"
I look at her and the back of her shirt is ON FIRE!!!!
I run after her yelling, "STOP!"
I grab ahold of her and just start smackin' her back
to put out the fire. Once it was out I pulled off
the shirt and she was holdin' me so hard I couldn't see
what damage there was right away.
I got her to loosen her grip a bit and looked around
and PRAISE GOD! there was only a slight reddening of the skin,
which I believe was from me smackin' her so hard.
She does have a small thin red line that
was still there this morning.
Last night I put some burn ointment on her, also.
I am just so thankful right now.
With her long hair it could have been so different.
I am so very thankful for God's protection.

HISTORIC ELECTION !

On November 4, 2008, the first African-American man was elected for the office of President of The United States. Barack Hussein Obama is to be our 44th president.

We voted for John McCain. Having said that, what's done is done, and as they say, "the people have spoken". Only time will tell if the right choice was made.

Our country is in an economic crisis, the war is still on-going, and people all over are hurting. My prayer is that our new president can see us through these challenges with strength and wisdom.

Above all, God is in control and He is not surprised. So we put all our hope in the Lord and continue to pray for our leaders whom God has placed in their positions.

"Praise be to the name of God for
ever and ever;
wisdom and power are his.
He changes times and seasons;
he sets up kings and deposes them.
He gives wisdom to the wise
and knowledge to the discerning.
He reveals deep and hidden things;
he knows what lies in darkness,
and light dwells with him."
-- Daniel 2:20-22

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Day 15

Love never fails . . .
never -- at no time; not ever; on no occasion; not at all; in no way; absolutely not; not in any circumstances; at no time, whether past, present or future; in no degree; not in the least.

fail -- to dwindle, pass or die away; end, limit; to prove deficient or lacking; to abandon, forsake; disappoint, prove undependable; to be wanting; to fall short; to become diminished; to decline; to decay; to weaken; to perish; to die.

Love is a not an emotion, it is a choice to be unconditional, without expectations of receiving anything in return. This is the kind of love that never fails. This is the love that can only come from the Father, through his son, Jesus Christ. For it is written:

"If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him." (1 John 4:15-16)

To further illustrate this unfailing love using the definitions above:

Love at no time abandons.
Love in no way disappoints.
Love does not in any circumstances weaken.
Love on no occasion proves undependable.
Love will not ever die.

The scriptures tell me how to express love:

"My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you."
John 15:12

"Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but
with actions and in truth."
1 John 3:18

"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient,
bearing with one another in love."
Ephesians 4:2

The scriptures tell me how wide, long, high and deep His love is:

"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us,
that we should be called children of God!"
1 John 3:1a

"For the Lord is good and his loves endures forever."
Psalm 100:5a

"Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed,
yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken."
Isaiah 54:10a

Being able to love is not based on my ability, my strength, or my feelings:

"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the
strength of my heart and my portion forever."
Psalm 73:26

I only need to stand my ground and after having done everything, to stand:

"Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be
men of courage; be strong. Do everything in love."
1 Corinthians 16:13-14

An illustration for the love I will give to my husband:

"Place me like a seal over your heart,
like a seal on your arm;
for love is as strong as death,
its ardor unyielding as the grave.
It burns like blazing fire,
like the very flame of the Lord.
Many waters cannot quench love;
rivers cannot wash it away."
Song of Songs 8:6-7a

Today I dare myself to receive the love of God and to let that love go forth out of my heart toward others.

Lord, in your abounding love, help me. Amen.

Scripture to meditate on today:

"We love because he first loved us."
1 John 4:19

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Day 14

Love always perseveres . . .
persevere -- to stay behind; to stand firm, endure, be patient; continue steadfastly; refuse to stop; persist. To bolster, sustain, or uphold. To maintain a purpose in spite of counter influences, opposition, or discouragement. To not abandon what is undertaken.

In order to persevere there needs to be a trial, something to push through. That's why it is said:
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance." (James 1:2-3)

We do not persevere in vain for it is written:
"Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him." (James 1:12)

I need to realize that my fight is not with my husband, or others. That is why it is said:
"Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." (Ephesians 6:11-12)

Humans are fallible. It is inevitable that we will all make mistakes. I will face a bad day, an insensitive word, unmet expectations, etc... -- but that is where perseverance is born. Perseverance comes from my faith in Jesus and God's unfailing love for me. When faced with opposition I need to stand firm behind Jesus so he can sustain me through it.

I am not expressing love when I do not choose to persevere. Today I dare myself to refuse to withhold the love in my heart for my husband, and others, despite what obstacles are set before me. I will put on the full armor of God and stand firm.

Lord, in your abounding love, help me. Amen.

Scripture to meditate on today:

"But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardships,
do the work of an evangelist, discharge all
the duties of your ministry."
2 Timothy 4:5

Monday, October 20, 2008

Day 13

Love always hopes . . .
hopes -- put hope in, expect, an attitude of confidently looking forward to what is good and beneficial.

beneficial -- to bring together; to be helpful; be gained; common good

When I hope it should be of things that will bring us closer together, and ultimately closer to Jesus. Instead of hoping to change others, (which, though the intention is to do good, actually drives a wedge between us).

I will hope in the love of God.
"And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out
his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."
Romans 5:5

I will put my hope, my expectations, in God's promises.
"Uphold me according to Your promise, that I may live:
and let me not be put to shame in my hope!"
Psalm 119:116 Amplified

I will be still, increasing my faith, while He works in each of us as He wills.
"But if we hope for what is still unseen by us,
we wait for it with patience and composure."
Romans 8:25 Amplified

I am not expressing love when I let my hope become self-serving. Hope, the kind that comes from sincere love, fills us with joy and peace. I show my love when I hope in the promises of the Lord and share that hope with others. Today I dare myself to do just that--to put my hope in Jesus.

Lord, in your abounding love, help me. Amen.

Scripture to meditate on today:

"May the God of your hope so fill you with all joy and peace
in believing [through the experience of your faith]
that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound
and be overflowing (bubbling over) with hope."
Romans 15:13, Amplified

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Day 12

Love always trusts . . .
trusts -- to believe, put one's faith in, trust, with an implication that actions based on that trust may follow; entrust, committed.

believe -- same meaning as above

Definition of believe -- to have confidence in the truth, the existence, or the reliability of something, although without absolute proof that one is right in doing so.


Only if one believes in something can one act purposefully.

In Matthew a blind man wanted healing and Jesus asked him, "Do you believe I am able to do this?" (Matthew 9:28).
In Mark when the synagogue ruler was told that his daughter was dead, Jesus said, "Don't be afraid; just believe." (Mark 5:36).
Again in Mark a father of a boy who was possessed by a spirit said to Jesus, "But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us." Jesus replied, " 'If you can' ?" "Everything is possible for him who believes." The father immediately exclaimed, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief ! " (Mark 9:14-24)

A Real Life Conversation

My daughter got her first tick one spring. She was frightened that a tiny bug had latched onto her and wouldn't let go.

I said to her, "Sweetie, I can take care of that."
Still, her face was full of worry. I got the tweezers and the rubbing alcohol ready. When she saw me with the tweezers she became tense and started crying.

Trying to soothe her I said, "Oh, don't be afraid."

Now, I believed I could get the tick out without much trouble. But she wasn't so sure. It actually broke my heart because I wanted my daughter to trust me. To believe that I could do what I said I could.

I told her, "Honey, I can do this!"

She said, "I know mommy, I'm just not so sure."

How it must break God's heart to hear this kind of conversation from me. He doesn't just want me to know what He can do; He wants me to trust, to believe that He will do what He says.

Trusting is hard because I am vulnerable, exposed. It is why when one is betrayed it can cut the heart deep down. However, I can see how it is an expression of true love when you do trust. My husband has never done anything for me not to trust in his love for me. Today I dare myself to trust in the love my husband has for me. To entrust to him my heart. When he says I am beautiful, I will smile and kiss him. When he says I love you, I will answer I'm glad because I love you too. I will believe.

Lord, in your abounding love, help me.

Scripture to meditate on today:

"Now it is required that those who have been
given a trust must prove faithful."
1 Corinthians 4:2

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Day 11

Love always protects . . .
always -- all, every (thing, one), whole, continually, publicly, day after day, forevermore.

protects -- to put up with, stand, endure, cover.

Definition of protect: to cover or shield from danger or injury, to defend, to guard, to preserve in safety. Literally--to cover in front


"Sing about a fruitful vineyard:
I, the Lord, watch over it; I water it continuously.
I guard it day and night so that no one may harm it."
(Isaiah 27:2-3)

"Timothy, (Wendy) guard what has been entrusted to your care."
(1 Timothy 6:20a)


The scriptures in Isaiah and 1 Timothy clearly tells how I should care for those I love and who have been entrusted to my care.

To love another means to stand between them and the threat.
"Greater love has no one than this,
that he lay down his life for his friends."
(John 15:13).

It means to nourish by speaking life to them and wrestling in prayer for them.
"The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life"
(Proverbs 10:11a)

That my words and actions are edifying and wholesome.
"Pleasant words are a honeycomb,
sweet to the soul and healing to the bones."
(Proverbs 16:24)


I am not expressing love when I do not protect. Today I dare myself to fill my heart with God's Holy Word so that I will be equipped and ready to express goodness in what I say and do. I will pray daily for my husband to guard him against the fiery darts of the enemy. I will let the love I have in my heart stand between him and the world.

Lord, in your abounding love, help me. Amen.

Scripture to meditate on today:
"The good man brings good things out of the good
stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things
out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of
the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks."
Luke 6:45

Friday, October 10, 2008

Day 10

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth . . .
delight -- to rejoice, be glad, hail, full of joy, welcome

evil -- wickedness, wrongdoing, unjust, unrighteousness, dishonest, worldly

rejoices -- to rejoice with, shared joy, to experience joy and gladness in a high degree

truth -- truthfulness, corresponding to reality, assure, certainly

sincere -- pure, unmixed, unadulterated

I need to continue to replace the lies with the truth of God's Word:

Lie: I do not have enough faith.

Truth: "I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." (Matthew 17:20)

Lie: My prayers have no real power.

Truth: "I tell you the truth, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven." (Matthew 18:18)

I am not expressing love when I hold on to the lies. As the Word becomes a part of my everyday thinking my love will be unmixed and able to grow deeply in my heart. My desire is to give my husband the unconditional love he has given me. Today I dare myself to cling to what is good and true.

Lord, in your abounding love, help me.

Scripture to meditate on today:

"Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good."
Romans 12:9

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Day 9

Love keeps no record of wrongs . . .
record -- to credit, count, reckon, regard, think, consider, realize

wrongs -- evil, wicked, wrong, bad, a perversion of what pertains to goodness; an evil thing can refer to any crime, harm, or moral wrong.

Like the memory of an elephant, I have held in my heart the hurts done to me, especially by my husband. I've used that knowledge against him as a reason why he can't be trusted or believed when he says he loves me.

The truth is:

"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God."
Romans 3:23

Holding past wrongs against my husband, or others, shows I have not forgiven. Wisdom says: "Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs." (Proverbs 10:12)

I am not expressing love by stirring up the past. Today I dare myself to pay no attention to wrongs done to me. I will not repay evil for evil. As the Word says: "He who covers over an offense promotes love." (Proverbs 17:9a)

Lord, in your abounding love, help me. Amen.

Scripture to meditate on today:

"Above all, love each other deeply, because
love covers over a multitude of sins."
1 Peter 4:8

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Day 8

Love is not easily angered . . .
easily angered -- to be greatly distressed, irritated

irritate -- annoy

Whatever comes across our feelings irritates; whatever excites anger provokes; whatever raises anger to a high point exasperates.

"Susceptible and nervous people are most easily irritated;
proud people are quickly provoked;
hot and fiery people are soonest exasperated." --Crabb

Geez! For me it's a quick trip from irritated to exasperated. I need to tackle this feeling when it is in its first stage and not give it a foothold to grow into something that causes me to be foolish. When faced with somethng that is irritating me, I need to think of the other characteristics of love to douse it quickly.

I am not expressing love when I am easily angered. Today I dare myself to not sweat the small stuff. To keep in the forefront of my mind that I love my husband and children. To stay focused on showing patience and kindness. To lay at the cross my nervous and anxious feelings.

Lord, in your abounding love, help me. Amen.

Scripture to meditate on today:

"A fool shows his annoyance at once, but
a prudent man overlooks an insult."
Proverbs 12:16

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Day 7

Love is not self-seeking . . .
self-seeking -- the seeking (to look for, try to obtain, desire to possess, strive for) of one's own interest or selfish ends.

selfish -- caring supremely or unduly for one's self; regarding one's own comfort, advantage, etc., in disregard, or at the expense, of those of others.

"Do nothing from factional motives [through contentiousness, strife, selfishness, or for unworthy ends] or prompted by conceit and empty arrogance. Instead, in the true spirit of humility (lowliness of mind) let each regard the others as better than and superior to himself [thinking more highly of one another than you do of yourselves]. Let each of you esteem and look upon and be concerned for not [merely] his own interests, but also each for the interests of others." (Philippians 2:3-4 Amp)

"I want" can be the two most destructive words spoken. In being self-seeking, I lose sight and sensitivity to the needs of others. I stop being sincere with my motives and the people I love are left feeling confused, hurt, and unloved. I am not expressing love when I am being self-seeking. Today I dare myself to show the love in my heart by being truly concerned about others' needs by paying attention to what interests them so that they will have no doubt how much I love and esteem them.

Lord, in your abounding love, help me.

Scripture to meditate on today:

"Incline my heart to Your testimonies and not to
covetousness (robbery, sensuality, unworthy riches.)"
Psalm 119:36 Amplified

Monday, October 6, 2008

Day 6

Love is not rude . . .
rude -- to act improperly, dishonorably, indecently.

indecently--unbecoming language, coarse

coarse--as in lacking in delicacy, lewd

lewd--preoccupied with sex and sexual desires, lust

lust--intense sexual desire or appetite, or obsessive desires

Whoa! What a "can of worms" this word opens up! I looked up indecently, which led me to coarse, which led me to lewd, which then led me to lust. All that from rude!

And, to my shame, I have shown them all. To be honest, I get confused by what is natural and normal and what is sinful desire. In trying to behave the right way I tend to go from one extreme to the other--frigid to excessive. In order to replace the lies with God's truth I need to understand what is good and of Him.

1 John 2:16 -- "For everything in the world--the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does--comes not from the Father but from the world."

I am to be moral -- upright, honest, straightforward, open.

I am to be virtuous -- goodness, that is consciously or steadily maintained, often in spite of temptations or evil influences.

I am to be honorable -- respectable, esteemed.

But I am not perfect --

Like Paul said: "When I want to do good, evil is right there with me." (Romans 7:21) "What a wretched (woman) man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?" (Romans 7:24)

Jesus is my rescuer! My hero who gave his life so that I could be free and live.

"Therefore, there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." (Romans 8:1)

I am not expressing love when I am being rude. Today I dare myself to behave in a way that is honorable and good. To trust and let Jesus be my rescuer when faced with temptations that want to show my love in a sinful way. To believe and trust in the grace and mercy that God gives to me through His holy, unwavering love.

Lord, in your abounding love, help me. Amen.

Scripture to meditate on today:

"Let us behave decently, as in the daytime,
not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality
and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy.
Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ,
and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature."
Romans 13:12-14

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Day 5

Love is not proud . . .
proud -- to puff up, inflate, arrogant

arrogant -- having or displaying a sense of overbearing self-worth or self-importance.

overbearing -- to treat in a domineering way, over-powering, repressing, insolent.

This is getting tough. In reading the definitions I am reminded of the many, many times I have behaved proudly. This ugly attitude was reserved mostly for my husband and I am ashamed of how I treated him. I let the lie that was fed to me take root and produce bad fruit.

The truth is:

"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." (Galatians 2:20)

"Therefore (I ) do not let the sin reign in (my) your mortal body so that (I) you obey its evil desires." (Romans 6:12)

"For sin shall not be (my) your master because (I am) you are not under law but under grace." (Romans 6:14)

"You (I) have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness." (Romans 6:18)

I am not expressing love when I am proud. Today I dare myself to live as a child of light -- "for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth". (Ephesians 5:9)

Lord, in your abounding love, help me. Amen.

Scripture to meditate on today:

"Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought,
but rather think of yourself with sober judgment,
in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you."
Romans 12:3

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Day 4

Love does not boast . . .
boast -- to say or tell things which are intended to give others a high opinion of one's self or of things belonging to one's self; to speak with excessive pride; to blow up, puff up, swell.

In trying to assure that others do not see me as inferior, I'm sure there have been too many times that I have been prone to boast. I've purposely used showy language to make myself feel superior. In my heart, I know I didn't intentionally set out to demean another person, however, intentions aside, the result is the same -- the person is not left edified, encouraged or feeling the love I say I have for them.

Ephesians 4:29 -- "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."

I am not expressing love when I boast in myself. "May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ..." (Galations 6:14a) Today I am daring myself to speak words that build up and inspire others. I will be careful to give God all the glory, honor and praise for everything he did, does, and will do.

Lord, in your abounding love, help me. Amen.

Scriptures to meditate on today:

"If I must boast, I will boast of the things that
show my weakness."
2 Corinthians 11:30

Friday, October 3, 2008

Day 3

Love does not envy . . .
envy -- to experience morally corrupt zealous ill will, to be jealous, eagerly desire, covet, as a negative attitude of lust and desire for another's possessions.

I will admit that I have experienced jealousy toward my husband. He is so at ease everywhere he is and with everyone he's around. Feelings of not being good enough or that people are going to see the things that were done to me or the things I did as a result overwhelm me so much at times I cannot be comfortable around other people. Just thinking about it makes me feel dirty. Darren knows my past and still says he loves me. I tell him he has to love me, we're married. But that's not truth. He doesn't have to love me. I praise God for creating Darren and I am humbled greatly that God chose Darren to be my husband as an example of Christ's love for me -- "this love that surpasses knowledge" (Ephesians 3:19a)

I am not expressing love when I am being jealous. Today I am daring myself to focus on the truth that I am loved. I will rebuke the destructive dialogue in my mind. I will praise God for my husband.

Lord, in your abounding love, help me. Amen.

Scripture to meditate on today:

"A heart at peace gives life to the body,
but envy rots the bones."
Proverbs 14:30

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Day 2

Love is kind . . .
Kind implies a sympathetic attitude toward others, and a willingness to do good or give pleasure.

Synonyms: mild, benign, gentle, tender, compassionate, forebearing, tolerant, generous, agreeable, benevolent

Benevolent -- suggests charitableness and a desire to promote the welfare or happiness of others.

I've always thought of myself as a kind person, but to be honest with myself there isn't much fruit of that. Being kind and expecting something in return is not true kindness. True kindness requires a merciful disposition and I am quick to admit I have little mercy. If I feel that I've been offended, attacked, dealt with harshly or disrespectfully there is no show of kindness or forgiveness. However, not only does this attitude not show the love of Jesus, it also hurts me: "A kind man benefits himself, but a cruel man brings trouble on himself." (Proverbs 11:17)

So how do I receive the ability, the disposition, the characteristic of true kindness?

By relying on God's perfect love for me.


I am not expressing love when I am not showing kindness. Today I am daring myself to show kindness for no other reason than to express the love in my heart.

Lord, in your abounding love, help me. Amen.

Scripture to meditate on today:

"Be kind and compassionate to one another,
forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."
Ephesians 4:32

Learning How to Love Unconditionally

Day 1

"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." -- 1 John 4:18

Lord, in your abounding love, make me perfect in love.

Love is patient . . .
patient -- to exhibit internal and external control in a difficult circumstance, which control could exhibit itself by delaying an action.

I can become easily frustrated. I am guilty of taking that frustration out on others, especially those whom I say I love. I am not expressing love when I am not showing patience. Today I am daring myself to express my love by showing patience.

Scripture to meditate on today:

"Everyone should be quick to listen,
slow to speak and slow to become angry,
because man's anger does not bring about
the righteous life that God desires."
--James 1:19

Lord, in your abounding love, help me. Amen.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

My First Tattoo

Well I did it! Yissiree! There it is...
The first question anyone asks is, "Did it hurt?"
and my answer is a resounding

"You Bet it Did!!!!"

I have wanted a tattoo for 20 years but I wasn't going
to get one just to have one. It needed to matter to me.
I knew it was a lifetime commitment and definitely
wanted to be sure it was what I wanted.

This tattoo means a lot to me.
It symbolizes the two anchors in my life--Jesus and Darren.

The second question I get asked is,
"Are you gonna get another one?"
I tell them it's kind of like having a baby--
In the beginning your real excited. Then as it gets closer you
get nervous and anxious. When the time comes to get it done and
you feel the pain of that first line drawn, you just want to say,
"OK! That's enough, I'm outta here!"
But you can't stop now.
You'll be left with a weird permanent mark.
So you grin and bear it and yell a bit.
Learn a few new expletives...
Once it's over you are so relieved and proud of yourself.
You lived through it!
However, the LAST thing on your mind
is to start planning your next one!

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

School Begins....Our 7th Year!!!

We started our new school year August 7th. This year is different than all the rest---for one thing DD 17 is graduating this year. I am shell-shocked by this knowledge. I can remember her first day of school like it was yesterday.

DD 17 is taking 2 classes at our local community college. They will give her a headstart for when she starts her college education in Fall 2009. I have learned that 80% of high school graduates who begin college require a remedial math and/or reading class. I would like to avoid that for DD. One of her classes is Elementary Algebra which is high school algebra. The reading class is designed to give her the necessary comprehension and study skills required for college textbooks. These are semester classes--they do a year's worth in 1 semester. Once she gets through these we will evaluate how to use her 2nd semester to her advantage.

DD 16 is in 10th grade. We are trying something different with her veering a little more on the unschooling side, but still with a purpose and goal in mind. For her Biology she is doing Animal Biology & Care, instead of human biology. Of course I will tie the two together in our discussions, but she has a passion for animals and if this is what motivates her to learn, so be it. I have discussed with our local vet the possibility of her doing on-going mentoring throughout the year. He was very open to it and DD 16 is excited about the possibilities. She is also doing a lot more reading, ie., fiction, classics, non-fiction etc. This is a vast improvement from last year when it was like pulling teeth from an alligator to get her to read anything.

DD 10 is now in 5th grade. Amazing!! My baby is growing up as fast as the other two did. What is a mother to do? I am excited about our school year plan for her. This will be the first year that there hasn't been some kind of major distraction that has kept my time divided too thin. We begin our Beyond 2 unit studies with Sarah, Plain & Tall and I know she is just going to love the wonderful lessons that go along with it. I mean, I'M excited so it's bound to rub off! :) I am also using a new spelling curriculum called Sequential Spelling. We have been using it for 2 weeks now and we both love it! Her confidence grows with each lesson.

I have so much hope for this year. I believe there are going to be learning leaps for each of my girls.

Friday, July 4, 2008

A Fresh Word

I've had trouble forgetting past sins and hurts. I have spent years asking for forgiveness and forgiving others but somehow could not get the forgetting part down. The more I would try to forget the more the devil would bring it to my mind. I would often remember the scripture in Philippians 3:13 where Paul says, "Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead." I would often wonder how he could do that--forget. Especially when the devil is quick to remind you. But then a friend of mine gave me a different word to use--NEGLECT.

Let's compare definitions:

Forgetting (forget) - To lose the remembrance of; to let go from the memory; to cease to have in mind, to treat with inattention or disregard; to slight; to neglect.

Did you see that? To neglect is part of the definition of forgetting! Now let's define neglect.

Neglect - Not to attend to with due care or attention; to forbear one's duty in regard to; to suffer to pass unimproved, unheeded, undone, etc.; to omit to receive or embrace.

That I CAN do!! I can neglect my past until I lose the memory of it. When the devil brings my past up to me, or even if I find myself starting to entertain it I can say, "I am forgiven. I am healed. I choose to neglect it." At that time the second part of the verse comes into action, "straining toward what is ahead."

In my curiosity I looked up straining and this is the definition:

Straining - stretching beyond its proper limit, exerting with violence, making great effort, filtering (to make pure).

In that definition I can see that when I choose to forget [neglect] what is behind it isn't going to be easy to move forward. There is going to be some pain involved. I am going to experience my faith being stretched. I am going to have to move out of my comfort zone. Depending on the situation I could feel like I'm walking through fire or a desert. But through it all God is with me and Jesus has gone before me. Understanding this in this way gives me new insight to the scripture 2 Timothy 1:7 "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline." God has given me, and all of us, the gift of courage to be able to strain "toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:14

Sunday, June 15, 2008

God is the finisher of my story

Secrets are like poison to the soul. Just as poison spreads throughout a body so does secrets spread throughout all parts of your life. However, unlike poison which could take minutes or hours to spread secrets can take years and years. It is a false sense of security to think they are hidden from the world, safe from being discovered. Secrets are actually begging to be exposed.

There once was a little girl with long blonde hair and a bright smile. At the tender age of five her world became the devil’s playground. Her mother became involved with a man and brought him into her home. It wasn’t long before the little girl, along with her little sister, became the target of her mom’s and his evil intentions.

The spankings came first. The welts were bloodied and swollen like ropes across her buttocks and thighs. As she grew she learned to bite down hard into the pillows to keep from crying out or screaming because those sounds enraged him even more and he would hit longer and harder.

By the age of seven, while sleeping, the little girl was abruptly taken from her bed and brought into her parent’s room. Fear and hope warring in her mind. Fear of another spanking, hope for something she could not name. There was no spanking given that night. On this night the little girl was made to watch her mom and the man have sex.

Eight years later the little girl is long gone. She can’t remember ever being a little girl. Her mind is filled with images she can’t get rid of. Her flesh is a constant reminder of what she was forced to do. Each day’s cruelties ripped and shredded her heart into pieces. She had no dreams because she didn’t sleep. She had no hope because those that were supposed to protect her were the ones that were causing all her pain. One day she tried to end the pain. She took a full bottle of aspirin and went to bed. She wasn’t thinking of dying she just wanted to stop hurting. She was rewarded by a trip to the hospital and having her stomach pumped. She was 15.

Something changed in her after that. She could feel it growing stronger. She spent less and less time at home. One day the man made her come home early from a school swim meet claiming there was an emergency. The emergency was he wanted her to cook him a meal. She expressed her outrage and he punched her in the face saying “I own you.” For the first time her eyes stared back hard, unwavering, challenging him to go the distance.

The final confrontation came when she was 16. Tired and exhausted after a long swim practice she lay sleeping in her bed. She felt his presence standing over her. She could feel the air moving as he undressed. She waited until he was undressed and suddenly bolted up from the bed to stand before him. 10 years of his cruelty had taken away her hopes and dreams. One of them was going to die before he laid one hand on her ever again. At that moment she didn’t care who. Her voice strong and loud she cried, “You vile piece of scum! Just try to touch me and I will kill you! I have nothing more to lose. You have taken everything from me. The only way you will ever touch me again is over my dead body.” She watched as he lowered his head. She waited, almost hoping he would try so she could inflict as much pain on him as he had on her. Instead he got dressed and sat on the bed holding his head in his hands. She ran out of her room and out of her house and never returned.

This shouldn’t happen to anyone ever, but it does. It happened to me.

Even before I gave my heart to Jesus, God worked in my life to heal the wounds that were cut so deep. The first thing he did was give me a man who has the patience of a rock and an unwavering, unconditional love. That man is my husband. (And before you think that no human can do that this is to testify that a human can.)

In 1993, I gave my life to Jesus. I learned about forgiveness and forgave my step-dad and my mother. My step-father had entered the Betty Ford Center back when I was 16 and had been sober ever since. He also found forgiveness through giving his life to Jesus. My mother, however, took another road by becoming a wiccan. When I told her that I forgave her, she said “It’s no big deal.”

Each time I thought God was done there was more that was uncovered. Each time I thought it couldn’t hurt worse, the pain was excruciating. In 1998 I spent a year in that pain while God went deeper, taking out more junk and replacing it with his love and truth. I felt like I had finally reached a place of wholeness.

Little did I know that God was not yet finished.

Experiencing disunity in our marriage, I went to the Real Life Marriage conference with the hope that Dh would hear and finally understand what he should be doing and basically what I could do to help him. I never expected that I would be the one to have open heart surgery---again!

Almost immediately the pain was there as if it had never gone away. I cried so hard at times I physically shook. God was showing me something and I didn’t want to see it. I just wanted to stop hurting. During a talk with S he asked, “Have you given D your heart?” I paused and had to think. Did I? I married him, doesn’t that mean I gave him my heart? I looked at S and said, “I don’t think so.”

The next day it all came to a head as God showed me my fear of intimacy. Sex was one thing. Being gentle and kind was completely different. When Dh would touch me in a gentle way it would literally cause me physical pain. Like being burned. Because of this, I did not enter our encounters feeling loving. It was more of having power over someone else. I couldn’t give myself to him unless it felt like he was taking from me. Oh how I cried and cried and cried. The hurting just wouldn’t end. “Help me Please God Help me” was all I could say. It was like there were two sides of me warring together. One side was feeling hurt, pain, and angry feeding off the ugly words parading through my mind and the other side has a death grip hold on Jesus, wanting so much to feel love without pain.

I believe in God. I believe in Jesus. I believe in the Word. I believe God is sovereign, all-powerful. Did I truly believe in His mercy and grace? After the conference I can say, as real as I can, I’m beginning to.

I may not fully understand God’s mercy and grace in my life but what I do know is through His Son he reached out to me and pulled me out of the darkness. He gave me a husband who beyond my understanding has endured with me this journey that is my life. He gave me 3 healthy, beautiful daughters who have shown me what it means to be a child. They have shown me how to love, how to laugh, how to be humble.

Satan wants my story to end before it's finished because each time I overcome God gets the glory. I can think of no better way to defeat the enemy than to tell him again and again, NO MORE.

NO MORE will the abuse go on.
NO MORE will I carry on the abuse.
NO MORE will I keep my heart from my Dh.
NO MORE will I keep my heart from Jesus.

NO MORE, NO MORE, NO MORE

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Learning to See Marriage through
the Eyes of Jesus

Darren and I have been reading Generation NeXt Marriage. We have only gotten through 2 chapters and already I have had some revealing thoughts about my attitude towards marriage.

The biggest impact in my thinking came from reading chapter 2 about my relationship role models. For better or worse my parents were my foundation in processing relationships. I went through my first divorce when I was 4-1/2. The second divorce happened when I was 16. It is at this age where my dd's are at now. If I think about it, it was about a year ago that I began thinking more seriously about where Darren and I were headed. It's like I couldn't think beyond the dc leaving the nest. More and more, I would think, "Well, it's been a nice run. It's time to go our separate ways before one of us does something we really regret." I didn't even think if what I was thinking was truth or a lie, it just sounded "normal". Of course it didn't make me feel any better. The more I thought these things the more upset and angry I would become and of course I would take those feelings out on Dh. The more clueless he was the more it seemed to cement that we shouldn't keep trying in vain. How's that for rational thinking!

After reading the chapter I realized how much is still engrained in me from my parents. Darren and I started our life together agreeing we would take our vows seriously and not use divorce as a way out of troubled times. So isn't it interesting that it didn't even take troubled times for me to actually think divorce was the next step after our dd's prepare to leave the nest.

Granted we do have some issues with communication and learning how to navigate middle age and teenagers and homeschooling and work and finances--but those things are normal relationship dilemma's. The one thing that is constant is that we do love each other. I told Darren that I do not have to look very deep at all into my heart to know that I love him. But things that are deep in my heart are creeping up to the surface and these are the things I need to see in the light of truth.

I'm looking forward to continuing to replace lies with truth.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Jane Austen Read-A-Thon

This past month, the girls and I read Jane Eyre. I had not read this book before. I was surprised to find that I really liked it. Then we watched the movie, The Jane Austen Book Club. It was a wonderful movie and it served to peak my interest greatly in reading Jane Austen's books, of which I have not read at all!

I posted on the FIAR boards if anyone else wanted to take on this endeaver of reading all 6 of Austen's novels over the next 6 months and I was pleasantly surprised and encouraged to have so many takers! We are having our discussions over at The Homeschool Lounge. The group is called The Book Nook and the discussion is called The Jane Austen Book Club (Emma). We will be in the Lounge Chat at the end of each month for a live, and hopefully lively, discussion.

Our Reading Order for Jane Austen's Books:

March -- Emma
April -- Pride & Prejudice
May -- Mansfield Park
June -- Northanger Abbey
July -- Sense & Sensibility
August -- Persuasion

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

A Fresh Start for 2008

It's a new year! I hear it all the time, but time really does fly. This year I have chosen a word as my personal theme: PERSEVERANCE

I find that I am great for starting things and then life and trials bog me down and hampers my follow through. This year:

I want to get to a healthy weight. I am starting off strong, losing 4 pounds already. I need to persevere through each day so that in consistency I will see the results I am praying for.

I want to read through the Bible. Last year I tried this and only got through 6 weeks of the year. I need to persevere each day to put aside time to read. It doesn't take long, I tell myself, and I have to remember that. Plus the benefit of doing so will far outweigh any perceived sacrifice I have to make in order to read it.

I want to go to the FIAR Conference. I love the intimacy of this event. It truly equips me to be a better mom, wife, teacher, and friend. I need to persevere through my finances.

I want to go to the Extreme Marriage Makeover Conference. This would be for both of us. I need to again persevere through my finances. We have been together going on 24 years and we love each other deeply. However, who couldn't use a tune-up for the next 25 years!

I want to grow closer to Father. I want to know more of Jesus. I feel in my spirit God is trying to tell me something and right now I don't quite know what it is. I feel discontent or slow or something...I don't even know what the word is to describe it. I just know there has to be more than what I am experiencing right now. In this I just need to persevere, period.